Saturday, February 14, 2009
Nothing with a side of nothing thank you!
I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING! Geeeez! These days are going so slow! I can't get up and do something active because of the appendectomy, I've seen all my DVDs, I'm writing this blog out of pure boredom and my friend who I was supposed to watch DVDs with ditched me! So here I am, listening to songs I've heard over and over again, writing crap that no one will read ha ha! In the good ol' days I'd resort to taking a few pain killers and washing it down with a few tumblers of Malibu but annoying little voice in the back of my head says 'Nah you're better than that' so I'm not even tempted! I' not really feeling all that bored I'm just pissed that I've done everything I could possibly do other than write this blog. I got an idea! I might sign up for another social networking site! Not that I'll ever use it again bu it might give me something to learn about for a few minutes. Either that or I could Wiki my birthday and end up researching Stockholm syndrome like last time! Mannnnn I'm really dribbling shit here. I MISS SCHOOL! I CAN'T WAIT ANOTHER WEEK! Oh! I have something to say! I just remembered, I've lost 4 kilo. My stomach shrunk while I was in hospital so I've tried not eating too much or drinking too much at one time. I'd say I've only lost weight because I was unwell and now it's just fluid but I'm trying to get into a routine. 107 kilo is not right for a 17 y o girl no matter how big boned I am. Anyhoo I'm going to go back to twiddling my thumbs now. Have a good one! Catch ya on the flip side!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Another ramble... here goes!
Okie dokie then! I mentioned in my last super-interesting blog (or not so much) that I'm looking to make things more interesting. I guess really to gain readers but to at least make my page readable!
NEXT! I was looking at 21 yo female blogger from Britain and she had mentioned the Australian Bush fires. Mum and I have often commented on how they are headlines all over the world. This woman from Britain said something small but stuck in my mind "My thoughts go out to those affected by this tragedy (translated from news-speak: Australians, I am so sorry. For reals)." She's a young woman, therefore when she says "I am so sorry. For reals" that's when I get how she feels. I was talking to my Mum and mentioned how the news doesn't really make anyone feel anything. I mean we might feel a little more informed but when we're told something like for example "6 dead in a suicide bomb in Pakistan" or something similar most of us don't even flinch. Once I started to notice that I do it, I felt guilty! Now I've often heard that we are desensitized to all these things going on because we hear it so often. I think that's only one part of it. I'm open to the possibility that the way news is delivered is so... monologue that the effect on us is wasted away. All this corporate ramble doesn't do anything for me. They talk about the hope of thousands like they were reading you the instructions to a new dryer. I've been told that their job is to report the news and that they are not supposed to have opinions or lead the public in certain directions. Last time I checked 181 people have died, DIED! In the Australian bush fires! In some cases whole families are burnt alive, now do you feel it? I'm pretty sure that the whole of Australia stands in the same place on that.
NEXT! I was looking at 21 yo female blogger from Britain and she had mentioned the Australian Bush fires. Mum and I have often commented on how they are headlines all over the world. This woman from Britain said something small but stuck in my mind "My thoughts go out to those affected by this tragedy (translated from news-speak: Australians, I am so sorry. For reals)." She's a young woman, therefore when she says "I am so sorry. For reals" that's when I get how she feels. I was talking to my Mum and mentioned how the news doesn't really make anyone feel anything. I mean we might feel a little more informed but when we're told something like for example "6 dead in a suicide bomb in Pakistan" or something similar most of us don't even flinch. Once I started to notice that I do it, I felt guilty! Now I've often heard that we are desensitized to all these things going on because we hear it so often. I think that's only one part of it. I'm open to the possibility that the way news is delivered is so... monologue that the effect on us is wasted away. All this corporate ramble doesn't do anything for me. They talk about the hope of thousands like they were reading you the instructions to a new dryer. I've been told that their job is to report the news and that they are not supposed to have opinions or lead the public in certain directions. Last time I checked 181 people have died, DIED! In the Australian bush fires! In some cases whole families are burnt alive, now do you feel it? I'm pretty sure that the whole of Australia stands in the same place on that.
My Pictures
PARENTAL GUIDANCE RECOMMENDED!
These are just a few random things I've been working on recently. The first is just a quick pen sketch in my journal of Jessica Rabbit... simply coz I think she's awesome. The second, the fist with Sacrificial Heartbeat is the band I'm kind of in (our lead picked the name, not me). I found the image of the fist on Deviant Art, so that's not original but i put it in paint, upped the contrast and put the heading on. The other picture is the one I suggested needed a parental lock on it or something, however I did want to show this one because I'm quite proud of it. This is my anatomically correct-nude male drawing. I have two but it doesn't want to load and I haven't got the patience right at this moment too fiddle around with it. I hope anyone that looks at this isn't offended, that's really not my intention. Really I just want to show off, so I hope I've impressed you. I'll find some much better stuff for future... I hope. See you
soon!
These are just a few random things I've been working on recently. The first is just a quick pen sketch in my journal of Jessica Rabbit... simply coz I think she's awesome. The second, the fist with Sacrificial Heartbeat is the band I'm kind of in (our lead picked the name, not me). I found the image of the fist on Deviant Art, so that's not original but i put it in paint, upped the contrast and put the heading on. The other picture is the one I suggested needed a parental lock on it or something, however I did want to show this one because I'm quite proud of it. This is my anatomically correct-nude male drawing. I have two but it doesn't want to load and I haven't got the patience right at this moment too fiddle around with it. I hope anyone that looks at this isn't offended, that's really not my intention. Really I just want to show off, so I hope I've impressed you. I'll find some much better stuff for future... I hope. See you
soon!
So here I am again!
I've been meaning to come back here and write some more stuff down but I just didn't get to it... not that anyone reads my blog anyway, I just felt obliged. Anyway so Friday I had an appendectomy. The operation to get my appendix removed was nowhere near as painful as it was when I first was awoken by a severe pain in my gut at 4 in the morning.
So tonight (tonight being 12th of February and 6 days since the operation) I'm feeling much better but I'm having a few issues. The uncomfortable feeling and awkwardness of moving around I was expecting but the issue I didn't give much consideration to was the cuts left behind. Sometimes I'll move a certain way and I can feel my cuts. It hits me that I've been cut into, like something foreign had been in me and now body will never be the same. It feels so useless and maybe there's another reason behind it but I find myself crying over it. It is so god damn frustrating because it's so petty! It's the first time I've been body conscious (and I'm a big girl).
Today I had to change the dressing on one of my cuts, it's on my belly button, mum took my hand away to have a look and I freaked out, in the end I let her look at it but I really didn't like it. There's a slight fold in the cut and i keep panicking that it won't heal right. I'm not a superficial person at all, never have been but I find myself hating these three little cuts on my stomach.
Anyway, moving on... I just started yr 12, my final year of high school. I'm really enjoying it and actually missing it now that I have to be home for 2 weeks. I love the freedom, the work is harder but there's much more time to do it in during school hours. I have never been one for homework so that's good for me.
I'm considering what I should do with this blog. I want to do something more interesting for other people... and myself. I want it to be about me and what I've experienced but I want something that other people will want to look at. I'll get back to you with some ideas! Buhbye!
So tonight (tonight being 12th of February and 6 days since the operation) I'm feeling much better but I'm having a few issues. The uncomfortable feeling and awkwardness of moving around I was expecting but the issue I didn't give much consideration to was the cuts left behind. Sometimes I'll move a certain way and I can feel my cuts. It hits me that I've been cut into, like something foreign had been in me and now body will never be the same. It feels so useless and maybe there's another reason behind it but I find myself crying over it. It is so god damn frustrating because it's so petty! It's the first time I've been body conscious (and I'm a big girl).
Today I had to change the dressing on one of my cuts, it's on my belly button, mum took my hand away to have a look and I freaked out, in the end I let her look at it but I really didn't like it. There's a slight fold in the cut and i keep panicking that it won't heal right. I'm not a superficial person at all, never have been but I find myself hating these three little cuts on my stomach.
Anyway, moving on... I just started yr 12, my final year of high school. I'm really enjoying it and actually missing it now that I have to be home for 2 weeks. I love the freedom, the work is harder but there's much more time to do it in during school hours. I have never been one for homework so that's good for me.
I'm considering what I should do with this blog. I want to do something more interesting for other people... and myself. I want it to be about me and what I've experienced but I want something that other people will want to look at. I'll get back to you with some ideas! Buhbye!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
