So here I am again!

I've been meaning to come back here and write some more stuff down but I just didn't get to it... not that anyone reads my blog anyway, I just felt obliged. Anyway so Friday I had an appendectomy. The operation to get my appendix removed was nowhere near as painful as it was when I first was awoken by a severe pain in my gut at 4 in the morning.

So tonight (tonight being 12th of February and 6 days since the operation) I'm feeling much better but I'm having a few issues. The uncomfortable feeling and awkwardness of moving around I was expecting but the issue I didn't give much consideration to was the cuts left behind. Sometimes I'll move a certain way and I can feel my cuts. It hits me that I've been cut into, like something foreign had been in me and now body will never be the same. It feels so useless and maybe there's another reason behind it but I find myself crying over it. It is so god damn frustrating because it's so petty! It's the first time I've been body conscious (and I'm a big girl).
Today I had to change the dressing on one of my cuts, it's on my belly button, mum took my hand away to have a look and I freaked out, in the end I let her look at it but I really didn't like it. There's a slight fold in the cut and i keep panicking that it won't heal right. I'm not a superficial person at all, never have been but I find myself hating these three little cuts on my stomach.

Anyway, moving on... I just started yr 12, my final year of high school. I'm really enjoying it and actually missing it now that I have to be home for 2 weeks. I love the freedom, the work is harder but there's much more time to do it in during school hours. I have never been one for homework so that's good for me.

I'm considering what I should do with this blog. I want to do something more interesting for other people... and myself. I want it to be about me and what I've experienced but I want something that other people will want to look at. I'll get back to you with some ideas! Buhbye!